Learning to sit with uncomfortable numbers

Conversion rate is down. You’ve investigated. There’s no clear fix. The number sits there, uncomfortable, unresolved. Every instinct says do something. Change something. Fix it. But sometimes there’s nothing to do right now. Sometimes you have to sit with an uncomfortable number, let it be uncomfortable, and continue operating without resolving the discomfort. This is harder than it sounds.

Learning to sit with uncomfortable numbers is a skill. Like most skills, it can be developed through practice. The founders who master it make better decisions than those who can’t tolerate the discomfort.

Why uncomfortable numbers are so hard to tolerate

The psychological resistance:

Action orientation

Founders are doers. Seeing a problem and not acting feels wrong. The identity of competent action clashes with accepting uncomfortable situations. Inaction feels like failure.

Control need

Uncomfortable numbers represent things outside your control. Lack of control is deeply uncomfortable for most founders. Sitting with bad numbers is sitting with lack of control.

Uncertainty intolerance

“What does this mean? Will it continue? What will happen?” Uncomfortable numbers often come with uncertainty. The uncertainty is sometimes harder to bear than the number itself.

Responsibility weight

Others depend on you. Uncomfortable numbers might affect them. The weight of responsibility makes acceptance feel like negligence. How can you just sit there?

Identity threat

If the business is part of your identity, bad numbers feel like personal failing. Sitting with them means sitting with perceived failure. The discomfort is existential.

The costs of not being able to sit

What happens without this skill:

Premature action

Doing something, anything, to relieve discomfort. The action isn’t strategic—it’s emotional. Premature action often makes things worse or wastes resources on non-solutions.

Thrashing

Multiple rapid changes chasing the uncomfortable number. Each change creates new variables. The situation becomes harder to understand. Thrashing obscures what’s actually happening.

Avoidance

If you can’t sit with uncomfortable numbers, you might stop looking at them. Avoidance prevents the discomfort but also prevents necessary awareness. Problems grow unseen.

Chronic stress

Fighting the discomfort rather than accepting it creates ongoing tension. The stress accumulates. Health and decision quality suffer from chronic resistance to reality.

Poor communication

Inability to tolerate discomfort can lead to hiding bad numbers from team and stakeholders, or to communicating with inappropriate alarm. Neither serves well.

What sitting with uncomfortable numbers actually means

Defining the practice:

Acknowledgment without panic

“Conversion is at 1.8%. That’s below where I want it.” Acknowledge the reality. Feel the discomfort. Don’t escalate to panic. Acknowledgment is different from alarm.

Acceptance without resignation

Accepting that this is the current number doesn’t mean accepting it permanently. You can accept current reality while working toward better future reality. Acceptance is temporal, not permanent.

Presence without fixing

Being present with the number as it is. Not immediately jumping to fix-it mode. Sometimes the appropriate response is continued observation, not action.

Discomfort without suffering

Discomfort is the sensation. Suffering is the resistance to discomfort. You can feel uncomfortable without adding the suffering of fighting the feeling. Allowing discomfort reduces suffering.

When sitting is the right response

Appropriate contexts:

Normal variance

The number is uncomfortable but within normal range. It will probably return to average without intervention. Sitting is appropriate; reacting would be overreacting.

No clear action available

You’ve investigated. No obvious fix emerged. Acting without clear direction is random. Sitting with the uncertainty is better than random action.

Recent changes need time

You already made changes. They need time to show effect. More changes now would confound the assessment. Patience requires sitting with the current uncomfortable number.

External factors beyond control

Economic conditions, competitor actions, seasonal effects. Sometimes external factors drive numbers and you genuinely can’t change them. Sitting is the only option.

Investigation ongoing

You’re working to understand the number. Action before understanding is premature. Sitting while investigating is strategic patience.

Developing the capacity to sit

Building the skill:

Start with physical tolerance

Feel the discomfort in your body. Where is it? Chest, stomach, shoulders? Notice without trying to change it. Physical awareness builds tolerance capacity.

Name the feeling

“I’m feeling anxious about this number.” Naming creates distance. The feeling becomes something you’re experiencing, not something you are. Distance enables tolerance.

Breathe through it

Slow, deliberate breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system. The physiological calming makes psychological tolerance easier. Breath is a tool.

Remind yourself it’s temporary

This feeling will pass. This number will change. Nothing is permanent. Temporal perspective reduces the weight of current discomfort.

Practice with small discomforts

Build tolerance with minor uncomfortable numbers before facing major ones. The muscle develops through progressive challenge.

The question to ask

A decision framework:

“What would I do if I weren’t uncomfortable?”

Remove the emotional pressure. What does strategic analysis suggest? The answer is often: wait, observe, gather more information. Discomfort wants action; strategy often wants patience.

“Is there a clear, justified action?”

Not an action to relieve discomfort, but an action that analysis supports. If no justified action exists, sitting is appropriate regardless of discomfort level.

“What would I advise a friend in this situation?”

External perspective reduces emotional charge. You’d probably advise patience. Give yourself the same advice.

“What’s the worst realistic outcome of sitting?”

Usually, the worst outcome of sitting is the number continues uncomfortably for a while longer. Compare this to worst outcomes of premature action. Sitting often wins.

Communicating uncomfortable numbers

Sharing with others:

Factual presentation

“Conversion is at 1.8%, below our target of 2.2%.” State the facts without catastrophizing. Facts enable shared understanding without spreading panic.

Context inclusion

“This is within historical variance. We saw similar dips in February and August that resolved without intervention.” Context helps others sit with the discomfort too.

Action status clarity

“We’re investigating. No clear action yet. We’re monitoring.” Clarity about what you’re doing (even if that’s monitoring) prevents others from assuming negligence.

Modeling calm

Your emotional tone sets others’ reactions. Calm presentation of uncomfortable numbers enables calm reception. Panic presentation creates panic reception.

The trap of false comfort

What not to do:

Explain away the number

“It’s just because of X; it doesn’t really count.” Maybe true, maybe rationalization. Explaining away can be avoidance dressed as analysis.

Distract with other numbers

“Conversion is down but traffic is up!” Distraction doesn’t address the uncomfortable number. It just looks elsewhere to feel better.

Premature optimism

“It’ll bounce back; it always does.” Maybe. But premature optimism prevents appropriate attention. Optimism can be another avoidance.

Busy work as coping

Doing tangentially related work to feel productive without addressing the actual issue. Activity that relieves feelings but doesn’t change outcomes.

The distinction

False comfort avoids the discomfort without addressing reality. Genuine sitting faces the discomfort while maintaining accurate view of reality. One is escape; the other is presence.

When sitting becomes avoidance

Distinguishing patience from neglect:

Signs of appropriate sitting

You’re aware of the number. You’ve considered actions. You’ve determined none are warranted now. You’re monitoring. You’ll revisit if conditions change.

Signs of avoidance

You’ve stopped looking at the number. You haven’t considered what action might be needed. You’re hoping it resolves itself without your attention.

The check-in practice

Periodically ask: Am I sitting with this skillfully or am I avoiding it? Regular honest check-ins prevent sitting from becoming neglect.

Time limits on sitting

“If this persists another two weeks, I’ll take action regardless.” Time limits ensure sitting doesn’t become permanent inaction. Patience has appropriate duration.

Long-term benefits of the skill

What develops over time:

Emotional resilience

Practice sitting with discomfort builds capacity for discomfort. Future uncomfortable numbers are easier to tolerate. Resilience compounds.

Better decisions

Decisions made without discomfort-driven urgency are usually better. Strategic clarity improves when emotional pressure decreases.

Team stability

A leader who can sit with uncomfortable numbers creates a calmer team. Calm teams perform better than panicked teams.

Sustainable operation

The ability to tolerate difficult periods without burning out or thrashing enables long-term sustainability. This is marathon, not sprint.

Frequently asked questions

What if the uncomfortable number indicates a real crisis?

Real crises require action, not sitting. The skill is distinguishing between discomfort that warrants sitting and genuine emergencies that warrant immediate response. Most uncomfortable numbers aren’t crises.

How long should I sit before acting?

Depends on the situation. Normal variance in daily metrics might warrant days to weeks of sitting. Significant persistent deviations warrant faster investigation and action. Match sitting duration to the nature of the issue.

What if my stakeholders expect immediate action?

Educate them on why sitting is sometimes appropriate. “Premature action could make things worse. We’re monitoring and will act when we have clearer direction.” Good stakeholders understand strategic patience.

Doesn’t this skill enable complacency?

The skill is sitting with discomfort, not ignoring it. Sitting includes awareness, monitoring, and readiness to act when appropriate. It’s engaged patience, not checked-out complacency.